sometimes - like just now - i feel like getting out, into the night, and ... just ... being there?
i don't know.
there is a feeling of ... waiting i'm all-too-familiar with.
it's the same feeling that i normally experience when i'm waiting something ... waiting for something to happen in the future.
except that when i'm in the balcony, staring into the night, it's somewhat different:
i'm no longer waiting for something definite ... and it's not something that will happen at a given point;
it's just ... petient waiting ...
pure, purposeless waiting ...
and it's not waiting for something in the future either; it's waiting for the now; i have this feeling that whatever i'm waiting for is already here ... allready happening ... allready happened in the second that passed ... and just now ... it's continuous ... (or timeless ... if you will)
maybe it's just that i like staring into the night ... who knows?
anyway, i guess i'm not making too much sense at this moment;
time to get some sleep.
good night!
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