running in disguise

i can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people i've met through my life that were not running from the truth; any truth!

besides them (they were three, maybe for), everybody does it.

i do it, you do it, we all do it.

that's fine and i have no problem with that per se.


what i have a problem with is putting down others to run from your truth; dismissing somebody else because you're not able to deal with what he/she is showing you.

and i've heard them all, usually dirrected at me.

i think it started with you're a kid, you don't know what you're talking about coming from my grandfather; i never asked him to explain it to me; just somewhere ... my sense of fairness got bothered by it and i kept silent;

there was also the you're a kid, you don't have problems! every time i was upset or had a problem;

then there was you'll understand when you come to have my experience (experiences are unique and by that not comparable; why not talking when you have my experience?), and we'll talk again after twenty years - then you'll see things my way (hey, guess what: i don't!)

then there was the you don't know what you're talking about thing; you can practically dismiss any argument or reasoning with these words alone!

and two favorites of one of my teachers in university: you don't know it, but <insert obvoius truism here> and when you'll reach my experience you'll see that <some other obvious truism here>.


but my all time favorite is you're so naive!; i don't mean it as a way of arguing; not you're naive if you think that bla bla bla; i mean just telling someone that he's naive and leaving it at that.
i mean ... congratulations! you brought something constructive to the discussion and gave some usefull information!


sheesh!


it's not about disagreeing with someone; i'm not talking (well ... writing) about that;

it's about putting someone down; when he or she has an obvious illusion one can simply point it out; tha't fine; it's constructive!


but when you find yourself in the position of having no remaining arguments?

Come on!

calling the other the naive one (or the deluded one or saying he lacks the experience or ... take your pick) ... that's actually not saying anything about the other;

if anything it's saying something about you; it's a form of censorship: it just points out to the world that your claim to truth is so weak that it supports no public scrutiny.


i mean ... if you feel what another is saying or doing is naive, then you're not going to 'enlighten' anyone by you don't know what' you're saying; if you tell yourself you're helping anyone by calling somebody naive to his face just to silence him then you're lying to yourself through your teeth;

you're doing nothing else but attacking the person when you cannot attack his/her ideas;

it's
bad
form;

and if it shows anything, it's about your character, not another's ideas, thoughts or values;



so, why did i write this?

as our managers say to any question asked during a presentation:
this is a good question;

one reason is that i have a habbit of going through my older posts from time to time and i wanted to remember this ...

i also wanted to rant a bit about it, since somebody told me in a conversation a few days ago that i'm so naive!; i went over it in my head and coudn't pinpoint what was bothering me about it.

now i know and i didn't want to forget my reasoning.

anyway, it's late, i got it out of my system, and i have better things to do at this point then ranting on the friggin' internet ...


i'm going to sleep