my thoughts of late

It's saturday evening, and i've had a day of rest again :)

Today I swept the floor in the living room and (as with all kinds of physical activity) it gave me some pause to think;

This post is about what I was thinking of ... well ... it's about what I'm thinking now of what I was thinking of then ... actually it's about what ...

ok, ok!


As of late there are a lot of things I'm much clearer about; mainly, it relates to relationship between feelings, states of mind, states of being, clearing your mind, increased (and decreased) consciousness and my goals.

Yeah ... I know ... not exactly your average, everyday topics ... is it? (no, but lately, they are mine :))

That is one of the things I thought about ... (or one of the things that my mind keeps returning to - if you will). Others things are, for example, looking at how my desires change ...

I also want to change the way I relate to some things ... and to some people ... and then I suddenly shift to moments of 'none of this matters' (I won't go into details here since they are in the habbit of reading my posts methinks).


I also shift between moments of clearness and moments of ... lots of goals and desires and ... it's difficult to explain - it's not exactly 'confusion', but it is a clouded mind.


I see in a clearer way the relationship between fear and love as sources for Being ... and posting on the forum has been helping a lot in this regard.


I guess the way choice really works for me is becomming clearer also, and that is the reason for these sudden changes (I mean I know that whatever I choose, I could have chosen anything else instead). It kind of puts things into perspective, especially when you see people that are so different than yourself, and realize that those people are - esentially - yourself.


Here is a small mind-stretching exercise:
Imagine that, for the sake of argument, matter, energy and time are one big happy ... blob of inter-related ... something (call it a big soup of quarks for all I care);

Imagine also - again, for the sake of argument - that we have a soul.

Now, this soul is no matter and no energy (let's ignore the '21grams argument' for this one, shall we?). It follows (through basic 11^th grade logic) that your soul is not bound by time, not attracted by the sun, not getting older and so on and so forth ...

Third, imagine - yes, for the sake of argument again - that we re-incarnate. All these suppositions (and exercise in imagination) leads to a staggering conclusion:

There are no past and future lives. (yeah, this would be the point in my post when you stop beliving I'm a gonner, and start knowing it - right?).

But no, think about this: if the soul has no relationship to time, then there is no future life to choose from;. No past life either. Maybe it's ... contemporary life.

Maybe you end this life, and after that (if there is any 'after' involved here) you reincarnate as the guy who's been annoying you since you were six and bullying you in fifth grade;

Maybe there is something more to all that gibberish various 'masters' talked about, saying we are all one.

No, they didn't say it like that exactly ... but, for example Jesus said something to the effect of

In asmuch as you do this to the least of those, you do it to me

and Sri Nisargadatta said that there is nothing except himself; that there is nobody else but him; then, the main character in the thin, red line (don't remember the name) said

Maybe there is only one soul, with a thousand faces

That's it: maybe we're like people jumping in the pool, joining the game, then getting out, staying in the sun, then joining again under a different face.

( except it's not a pool, it's a quark soup :) ).



So, there you go: this is what I've been thinking as of late, and these are the things I'm pondering while sweeping the floors.


ponderingly yours,
utnapistim

Lucky me I don't sweep the floors too often - i'd go mad in a hurry!