yesterday it happened again:
i was preparing something to eat for myself and i started moving things slowly, with utter calm. (laying plate on the table slowly, taking my time with getting the bread out, and so on)
that was the second time i got overcome by completeness and calm while laying my dinner table, since i moved in with B and F.
and it happened today after lunch too: i was walking by the sea-side, trying to just listen to the sound of the sea, some birds, my own footsteps and the wind. and the calm was there again.
so, does this mean god exists?
well ... no!
because it's nothing special ...
just my neurons actually waking up for a moment maybe ...
just me paying attention every once in a while.
but i wish i could be into this feeling more. yet f i was, i'd try looking for something else. such are the imperfections of my perfect personality.