I attend meetings, complete tasks, browse, read and write email, then I have lunch and drink coffee (or not), maybe touching zen for a moment or practicing reiki and then, again, I attend meetings, complete tasks et caetera, et caetera ...
I come home, sometimes stop and rest on the way or buy something to eat sometimes, cook and eat (or not), then read until I fall asleep.
I wake up; I shower, dring a coffee (or not) ...
Same, ALL OVER AGAIN.
In all this, I can see ... trends; tensions, general dirrections and activities spanning over weeks or months, illusions I make and choose and get over ...
... like my restlessness over getting my new camera, for a week now;
... or my crush on someone that lasted for close to five months, which passed when I let it pass;
... or my enthusiasm with my new skates, my broken finger for three weeks, or diving and meeting people over the weekends.
Life is routine by now: I stil wake up, shower, drink coffee (or not) and generally go the whole nine yards before going to sleep, every day.
What I focus in my ramblings today on though, is that I don't remember most of it; There will come a time in three months or so, where my new skate wheels will be old (and my enthusiasm over them, all but forgotten); there will come a time when my not-yet-here-camera will be old, forgotten, a banality or broken through some accident, or simply in someone else's hand (and I know very clearly that it doesn't really matter).
When I came to Cyprus, I had been keeping a logbook, writing minute details of an afternoon one day, ideas on another, dreams, scares and small annoyances on the next;
I became bored with it - it was just another illusion in this regard - but I've been looking through it a few days back and all those small details bring back a whole bunch of richness I didn't expect.
Anyway, after all these ramblings, this is my idea: I go through every day, but my attention is not there; My everyday coffee doesn't really give me anything to remember, and neither do my status reports on the project, renting a book from someone or stopping on a bench on the sea-front to rest on my way home.
Instead, my life is one of trends; I remember giving a massage almost every day because I like giving massages, and skating to office or home (in general); I remember "major" events in my life, like sinking my camera, last years holydays, a lunch with friends over last easter, and the first party we threw when coming to cyprus (and the fact that I left it when the guys started getting drunk).
I remember that at some point in the last two to four months I decided that I will cut down on coffee, and that I became a vegetarian in the summer of last year (but only because people asked and I kept picking my brain for the answer); I remember my previous two work places in Romania and some of the coleagues (the ones I interracted more - or on a deeper level - with) and so on;
yup; a life of trends;
I've ... seen things you people couldn't belive ...
Attackships on fire near the shoulder of Orion ...
I've watched C-beams glitter in the darkness ...
All those ... moments ... lost ... like tears ... in the rain
"Tears in the Rain" - Vangelis (from BladeRunner, the soundtrack)