Wednesday, January 18

in the bones

i can feel it in the bones: anxiety; a state of tensioned waiting for a particular result; a result I know is not going to come ...


why am I doing this?


In my moments of no-confusion (mostly in the mornings), i know where i am; i can see clearly the missing part as not really being a missing ... anything; i see the circumstance as perfect and complete and balanced; the minute perfection of the ... 'nothing in particular' ...

... and now, i remember that.

after loosing this 'no-confusion' state, anxiety appears again; i come back to the same patterns, same tensions, keeping to the same mistakes.

what am i trying to accomplish? what do i think i'm getting?

i know i'm getting old :)


... but the clarity of my view is coming into focus more often, and waiting for you turns into another illusion.


namas'te!

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