Thursday, May 8

a new day

Today's a new day, full of potential, and a fresh start for lots of things and all that. Usually, I wake up in the morning full of ... cheer (for lack of a better word), full of energy, and with a smile.

Not today.

I went to sleep around half past one last night, and something I'd been pushing to the back of my mind for some time got back to me, triggered (I think) by the words of a friend: it's not OK to do overtime, regularly.

I'm actually OK with giving more from myself, for a few afternoons, in the case of an emergency in the office. I find that ... reasonable, for a reasonably small definition of "a few".

What triggered me instead is the feeling I get now, that this is not an exceptional situation, but "the new normality": that "a few evenings in the office because we have to have something in hand by next week" turned in that, and "a few more evenings next week and three weeks after that, and a few more whenever we feel we could reach some milestone, if we just had three more persons on the team".

So, now I'm the position of choosing between saying "no" to all this (which I don't want to do, not as such), getting used to overtime (which I don't want to do either - I'm not my job), or doing something else to fix this situation (and I'm not very clear on what that could be).

Edit: On the other hand, maybe I'm just grumpy; I didn't get much sleep, and the last three hours of what should have been sleep, were spent tossing and turning in my bed, and what should have been a six hours of uninterrupted sleep became three hours of sleep and some (un)rest. Besides, we're not doing that much overtime (even though yes, the situation still needs to change).

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